Best man giving a speech at the Trafalgar Tavern

So you’re planning your wedding and you need 8 Top Tips for your Best Man/Woman.

Whether you have a wedding planner or not, I am so excited for you.

When deciding where to start, amongst suppliers you are likely thinking of who you would like to be by your side during the celebrations.

You’re at the stage where you have asked (insert your besties name here) to be your best man/woman. They are honoured.

Then you realise…

They have never had the role of best man / woman before.

Does they really know what they’re doing?

How can they be trusted?

Don’t panic.

Remember why you asked them in the first place

When you start to doubt if they are the person for the job, call to mind why you asked them.

Are they loyal?

Are they fun?

Do you trust them?

Have you known them very long?

Does your wife-to-be approve of your choice?

Will they give you peace on your wedding day?

Perhaps if you can’t say yes to many of those questions, it could be worth rethinking. After all, it is your wedding day.

If you are sure enough that they are up to the job, here are 10 tips I would give to every single best man / woman:

8 Top Tips for Your Best Man/Woman!

#1 Throw an incredible stag do

When I say incredible I don’t mean so incredible you lose your shoes.

I mean incredible as in, incredible for the groom.

If the groom loves staying local, don’t bother spending hundreds of pounds taking him abroad.

Keep it local, he will remember it better.

#2 Ask the groom what he wants

It’s really not funny when the groom doesn’t feel listened to. Before the silliness is planned, ask him what he wants and what he definitely doesn’t want. They might bring up things for the stag do or mention something to do with the speeches.
It’s then your job to listen, understand, and put them at ease.

#3 Communicate clearly with the rest of the ushers

If you’ve created a WhatsApp group and ask people what they think the groom will want to do, don’t be surprised when you’re bombarded with gifs, memes and stupid suggestions. Make the group and lay down some ground rules. Tell them what they are doing, when they are expected to show up, and how much £££ they have to contribute (if that’s how your groom wants you to do things, see #2). You want to make things as straightforward as possible, laying out the basic expectations.

#4 Find out who the photographer is

Showing up on the wedding day without knowing who the photographer is can be common.

But if you are like me you will already know every name of the bridal party. It’s helpful for me to understand how many ushers I can be expecting and a phone number for the best man/woman. If something happens that is not on the plan, they can contact you and don’t have to disturb the groom. Equally, if the groom is running behind or any other communication is needed, you at least know the Instagram handle of the photographer (@tomkeenanphotography)

#5 Get the plan from the photographer

I create an organised but relaxed planning structure for every single client I have.

I then double and triple-check it with the wedding couple, making sure the timings are the same for each supplier that needs to time manage (wedding planner, wedding venue, videographer). It’s common for me to turn up on a wedding day and the timing structure hasn’t been passed on to everybody who needs one, but thankfully I always “airdrop” a copy to everybody.

So for you, Mr best man/woman, find me – I will give you the planning structure if you haven’t already got it. It will show you the plan from beginning to the end of the day, and you won’t be caught saying, “I don’t know… I’ll ask the groom” when someone asks you what’s next!

#6 Don’t get “super” drunk

You might love a drink, but for this wedding, more than one or two is not for you (at least before the speeches!). So be alert and of sound mind for your friends and family. They’ll thank you for it in the morning.

#7 Just write your speech in advance

You may feel like a hero planning to say your speech off the cuff, but in my eyes, proper planning prevents poor performance.

#8 Make the day as enjoyable as possible for the bride and groom!

It’s all about them! Get them a drink. Reassure them with the plan. Ask them how they are. Rejoice with those who rejoice; it’s as simple as that.

Give these 8 top tips for your best man/woman and you’ll have a smashing team for your wedding!

January 25, 2024

8 Top Tips for your Best Man/Woman

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